Monday, February 17, 2014

Why Sugar Babies Looking for Sugar Daddies?



Sugar daddy dating has been stuck around in the public apprehension for quite a long time now. In such a relationship the male person is usually much older than his female counterpart that he finds for physical relationship and dating. These such females are known as sugar babies who are not looking for a long-term relationship, instead are in search of a person who can pay their bills and whom they can have fun with without committing to a serious relationship. Sugar babies are quite often younger than their counterpart sugar daddies, and being so, they tend to add years to their lives. They charge up the lives of their partners with increased level of energy and a highly active lifestyle.
Sugar babies are given incomparable respect by their sugardaddies which they cannot find in a man of their own age. This is because sugar daddies have quite a lot experience in dealing with women and thus they know very well how to deal their sugar babies with respect and honor.
The main perk of becoming a sugar baby is the money. This money is provided by the sugar daddy in form of cash, bills, shopping trips, college tuition or any sort of monetary sort etc. Since sugar daddies are mostly highly rich and well established, they often help their sugar babies to develop their own business, enhance their careers or establishing themselves in a certain way.
Sugar babies are not only there to provide companionship or sexual pleasure but they are also pampered with all the luxurious things their sugar daddies can afford. Besides getting extra cash, sugar babies are often rewarded with expensive jewelry, gifts or most up to date gadgets by their sugar daddies in order to please them fully. Sugar babies get to visit exotic locations and enjoy luxurious travel experiences because of the fact that their sugar daddies can afford such dates and travel.
One of the most famous dating sites is sugarbabymeet.com, here you can find numerous sugar babies who are either already in a relationship or have no interest in indulging in a serious relationship with anyone. This website serves as an amazing medium for young sugar babies and sugar daddies to connect and hook up with each other. Once you get a hold of sugarbabymeet.com the possibilities are endless.
A lot of sugar daddies and sugar babies have already benefited from the ultimate dating experience provided on sugarbabymeet.com. Joining sugarbabymeet.com and seeking arrangement with a lovemaking partner of your dreams will bring you closer than ever before to realizing the lifestyle and benefits enjoyed by thousands of sugar daddies and sugar babies all around the globe.
The best thing about sugarbabymeet.com is that you can sign up for free and once you are registered to the site you can start looking for a sugar daddy immediately. If you're looking for an exciting relationship with no strings attached at all and are willing to boost your dating experience then signup for sugarbabymeet.com today and let the fun begin.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

More And More Sugar Babies Looking For Sugar Daddies



A sugar daddy is a person who can financially and professionally support a female in turn of mutual companionship or in simple words sex. Sugar daddies all around the world are looking for young women who can spend time with them and energize their lives by their presence. Sugar daddies are financially well secure and they make sure that the sugar babies , they are dating, are not financially restricted. Sugar daddies are well aware of the needs of their sugar babies and thus do not hesitate in spending large amounts of money on them.
In today's world sugar daddy dating has gained a huge momentum and has risen up to become mainstream dating that millions of people are attracted to. Sugar daddy dating is more of a mutually beneficial agreement than the common dating so one does not need to worry about dealing with any relationship issues that other common people face. If you want to become a sugar baby yourself you would have to know the needs of your sugar daddy. Being a sugar baby is not easy, if you want to meet rich sugar daddies you would have to work for it and search for one today.
There are many young women out there who are looking for sugar daddies but they do not know where to begin searching for one. Whether you are a young college girl, a divorced woman, a married woman or a single mom you can find the perfect sugar daddy for your needs online. There are many websites that provide sugar daddy dating facility but one has surpassed all these websites in general. That website is sugarbabymeet.com. It is a dating website dedicated solely for the purpose of connecting and bringing together sugar babies and sugar daddies all around the world.
Here on sugarbabymeet.com you can meet the one of your dreams from a large list of sugar daddies across the globe. The best thing about sugarbabymeet.com is that you can sign up for free and once you are registered to the site you can start looking for a sugar daddy immediately. This website provides you with the facility of narrowing down your search by choosing the age, body type, hair color, and location etc of your desired sugar daddy. The benefit of this is that you get to know the sugar daddies long before you commit to meet them in person. This does not only make things easy but simple as well.
This website serves as an amazing medium for young sugar babies and sugar daddies to connect and hook up with each other. Once you get a hold of sugarbabymeet.com the possibilities are endless. The endless list of sugar daddies, each better than the other, will leave you drooling for more.
Don’t hold yourself back, if you wish to meet a sugar daddy take action today and sign up for sugarbabymeet.com. A long list of sugar daddies is waiting for you to check them out. Visit sugarbabymeet.com now and get a chance to win discount packages and many more benefits as you progress.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Is it the First Choice That Girls Marry Rich Men No Matter in America or China?

The word "girl" has been dissimilated in China. All the unmarried ladies can be called "girl", even if they are more than 30 years old. One of my Chinese girl friends is such a girl. Her mother has strict requirement on her mate. The first requirement is that he must have a house without loan. The girl herself of course also has some requirement on guys. He must be tall and handsome. She was finally left over as time passes by.

Girls in America also marry lately. According to they survey made by "the knot Inc" on 19,000 new couples who married on the year of 2010, the bridegrooms are 31 years old, the brides are 29 years old. The American girls marry on 29 because they have to finish the undergraduate even postgraduate study not due to the “house without loan”. So what’s the spouse choosing criterion of American girls.

They are also such girls who earn moneys depend on youth and beauty. The average-looking girl can earn 3000-5000 dollars per month, almost equal to monthly salary of American young guys. The gorgeous ones ask ten of thousands of dollars per month. The men who are willing to spend moneys to spoil the girls are called "sugar daddy", they are mostly old men. There are also "women seeking men", "men seeking women", "women seeking women", "men seeking men" relationships on American sites and medias. In the relationship of "women seeking men", they are seeking spouse seriously. They claim clearly that no "one night stand", no "mistress seeking", no "friends with benefits". The serious girls are seeking marriage friends. Browsing some of their public profiles, they have quite simple requirements but each have different emphases, such as a generally good man, honesty, a sense of humor is a must, must be no smoker and drug-free, between the age of 28-40, over 5-10 height but no one mentions the house.

The reasons of different spouse choosing criterion was called can be found in the two countries' social background. The extent of men and women equality is much higher than China. In their eyes, men and women should share the responsibility. Everything should be equal. Not like in China, the society has distributed many "should-be" roles to men and women. In America, only one thing is "should-be", men should raise women when they give birth children, the reason is simple, women can't let men give birth children. So men should bear the living cost independently.

It's provided by http://www.sugarbabymeet.com


 

Monday, January 20, 2014

What is a Sugar Baby?



A sugar baby is a beautiful young woman who is either searching for or is in a relationship with an elderly man who is mature and mainly rich. In trade for the company of a sugar baby, the older guy supplies her with a monthly allowance, lavish gifts and in some cases a place to live as well.
The top and foremost responsibility of a sugar baby is to be and have fun with her partner. It may sound quite simple but it gets tricky once you know that your sugar daddy has enough money to buy anything in the world and he just wants to spend it with someone beautiful and intelligent. A sugar baby knows her job well so she acts accordingly. She has the ability to take off stress from her partner's mind when she is with him and give him joy when he needs it most. 
Sugar babies are quite often younger than their counterpart sugar daddies, and being so, they tend to add years to their lives. They charge up the lives of their partners with increased level of energy and a highly active lifestyle. Sugar babies provide emotional stability that it takes for their mature partners to excel in either their business or their lives. Without emotional stability you will find yourself straying aimlessly in your life by making bad decisions both personally and professionally.
In the modern era there are unlimited sugar babies seeking lovemaking arrangement with a sugar daddy of their dream. A man who, they know, will keep them in a lifestyle to which they would immediately love to get accustomed to. All sugar babies need from their partners is proper attention and pampering which is subjected to their needs and desires.
If you want to find a sugar baby for yourself there are two options that you have: you can either sit out and wait hoping for a sugar baby to come to you or you can use your resources to your benefit and sign up for sugarbabymeet.com right away. It is an exclusive website which is devoted to hooking up sugar daddies with sugar babies all around the world. You just need to signup on sugarbabymeet.com and start searching for your desired partner right after you signup. There are no additional formalities on this site and all the sugar babies and sugar daddies are authenticated by the site before hand. This site is a perfect platform for the rich and successful men who seek a relationship with young, beautiful and classy sugar babies in the form of college girls, aspiring models or struggling actresses.
A lot of sugar daddies and sugar babies have already benefited from the ultimate dating experience provided on sugarbabymeet.com. Joining sugarbabymeet.com and seeking arrangement with a lovemaking partner of your dreams will bring you closer than ever before to realizing the lifestyle and benefits enjoyed by thousands of sugar daddies and sugar babies all around the globe .So if you're looking for an exciting relationship with no strings attached at all and are willing to boost your dating experience then signup for sugarbabymeet.com today and let the fun begin.

Monday, September 30, 2013

The Sugar Daddy Scholarship

A sugar daddy website claims college girls are signing up in order to pay off steep loans. Lizzie Crocker reports on the absurd tuition strategy.

Elliot is 45, gainfully employed, lonesome, and looking for a pretty young college girl to spend money on. Ideally he would serve as
her benefactor and mentor; she would express gratitude through sexual favors. At the very least she’d accompany him to dinner on a Saturday night and, if she understood the arrangement, give him a peek of those lace knickers he bought her. If all went well between the sheets, he’d even offer to pay her college tuition.

Elliot is fictional, but there are more than two million men like him registered as “sugar daddies” on the dating website Sugarbabymeet.com, many of whom are seeking out cash-strapped college students. One sugar daddy who goes by the name “Bigbluewolverine” claims to make $500,000 per year as a private equity fund manager, according to his profile, and wants to share this wealth with a destitute student. “With annual university costs where they are how do students these days make ends meet?” he writes, as though attempting to ameliorate the student debt crisis. “I’m here to help.”


"Women hold 60 percent of bachelor degrees and drop out at a lower rate because they are less discouraged by financial burden compared to men," according to promotional material from sugarbabymeet.com. "Nothing is wrong with having the determination to ask for help. Clearly, more female college students are resourceful in achieving their ultimate goal: to graduate with a degree.”


SeekingArrangement founder and CEO Brandon Wade says that female students account for 44 percent of the site’s so-called “sugar babies”—a classed-up euphemism for “gold digger”—who receive an average of $3,000 a month from their sugar daddies (it’s worth noting that none of these figures can be independently verified). Wade says that since the site launched in 2006, the number of female students signing up has grown exponentially, a trend that he links to the economic downturn and rising tuition costs. To test his theory, SeekingArrangement employees recently canvassed schools with the largest percentage of registered sugar babies and polled students on how they would spend their sugar daddies’ cash.


It’s not the type of methodology that would fly at Gallup, but the results were nevertheless surprising, with only small differences between elite universities and lower-tier state schools. “In the case of Arizona State University, more than 60 percent of the students polled said they could see themselves having a sugar daddy,” says Wade. “The numbers are slightly lower at Columbia and NYU, but still significantly higher than we would think.” Sixty-three percent of NYU students and 47 percent of Columbia students made the same admission. Even more surprising is that NYU is number two on SeekingArrangement’s “Top 20 Sugar Baby Schools” list, second only to Georgia State University, with its user base up 61 percent—from 543 students to 861—since the beginning of the year.

But Wade is trying to upend what he sees as the myths of sugar daddydom. “The misconception that the sugar daddy is a 75-year-old man looking to date a younger woman, that’s taking a stereotype and focusing on the extreme cases, but in reality sugar daddies are not that old, and sugar babies are not that young. Average daddy is 39, and average baby is 27,” he said.


And it’s something of a myth too that this is a phenomenon of the Internet age, as evidenced by the abundance of “stripping-through-college” memoirs. Desperate women, desperate for cash is a large part of the fantasy for the sugar daddy. The key to the fetish is that the women aren’t whores but ingénues, with the very real possibility that their love is for sale. But that doesn’t make it any less pathetic.


Indeed, Wade founded the website not with a grand social mission in mind. Strip out the high-mindedness and the reason for SeekingArrangement’s existence is simple. Wade was having trouble getting girls. “Having graduated from MIT with a dual degree, I was having a really tough time dating. On the normal dating sites I was outgamed by guys who had good looks or amazing bodies. My mother always told me to focus on school and study—don’t worry about the women; they will come when you’re successful because then you have the means to be generous,” he told me.


It’s an innovative, if absurd strategy in combating America’s mounting student debt crisis. But women attempting to sleep their way through college will end up feeling more like trophy wives than graduates by the time they collect their diplomas.

Friday, September 6, 2013

A Website by and for 'Sugar Babies'

For years, websites have been popping up to help young women—mostly college students—find sugar daddies online in order to pay for bills or tuition. Apparently, being a sugar baby has turned into a lucrative sideline for many women (and a few men), and business is booming (the site Sugarbabymeet.com, where daddies pay $60 a month for VIP access, makes its creator around a million dollars a year). So it was only a matter of time before a support website for the sugar baby community popped up: over at earnthenecklace.com, sugar babies can glean advice for making it in the business, or share their experiences with other aspiring kept women. Writing an article for the site can generate up to $500, only adding to the money the women make from their daddies.


While there are no hard and fast stats on the average monthly income for a sugar baby (which is legally considered different from prostitution, since it constitutes a ‘relationship’ rather than straight sex-for-cash), the women report making anywhere from between $1,000 to $10,000 a month, depending on how wealthy their daddy (or, in rare cases, their mommy) is.


Earn The Necklace also features a profile page for its most popular columnists, and their stories are oftentimes surprising. Rather than stereotypical young women looking for easy money, many of them (if their stories are true, as the site promises) were married with children when they met their sugar daddies, most often through work.

So what exactly are women posting on Earn the Necklace? There’s a 7-part series on “6 Ways to Get What You Want From Your Older Man Without Giving Him What He Wants.” There’s a story of how a woman went from a married mother to a sugar baby. Most are advice columns on how to keep yourself and your sugar daddy happy, or the best places to find older men (hint: Hawaii and the South.) A few are warnings of what can go wrong when dating a much older man.

On the side of every page, a photo gallery features famous male celebrities and their much younger partners, complete with their exact age difference, which often exceeds 20 years. More amusingly, lower down is a list of news stories about sugar daddies, including many tales that feature May/December relationships gone wrong. One of the top aggregations on a recent day: the news that 82 year-old Rupert Murdoch is divorcing his 44-year old wife, Wendi Deng.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Making it easy for "sugar daddies" to connect with "sugar babies"

AT FIRST GLANCE, the Web site Seeking Arrangement seems like any other dating site. Most of the men are looking for fit, sexy women, and most of the women want nice guys who can make them smile and laugh. But if eHarmony or Match.com is a chatty social mixer, Seeking Arrangement is a down-and-dirty marketplace where older moneyed men and cute young women engage in brutally frank transactions. They’re not searching for longtime soul mates; they want no-strings-attached “arrangements” that trade in society’s most valued currencies: wealth, youth and beauty. In the cheesy lexicon of the site, they are “sugar daddies” and “sugar babies.”

There’s the 18-year-old from France asking for $5,000 to $10,000 a month from “a mentor who can provide me with the finer things in life and keep me happy!” And the 49-year-old investor from upstate New York willing to pay $5,000 a month for a “daytime playmate” for “intense connection without commitment.” Critics say the site is at best a convenience store for adulterers and at worst a virtual brothel, but Brandon Wade, Seeking Arrangement’s 38-year-old founder and chief executive, is unperturbed by the criticism. “We stress relationships that are mutually beneficial,” he says. “We ask people to really think about what they want in a relationship and what they have to offer. That kind of upfront honesty is a good basis for any relationship.”

The site now claims more than 300,000 registered members, far fewer than mainstream dating sites like Match.com, which has 1.5 million paying subscribers, but still a remarkable number. Sugar babies outnumber daddies 10 to 1, Wade says, providing what one sugar daddy called “the best fishing hole I ever fished in.”

This abundance of possibility is part of what the site is selling, along with fantasy. Some of these men — especially those shopping for women half their age — are digging deep into their pockets to pay for an illusion: that despite their receding hairlines and wattled skin, they’re still enchanting enough to charm pretty young women. One image on the site features a dazed, graying man doted on by two barely clad attendants — a caricature of an already caricatured relationship. But this marketing spin doesn’t capture the nuances of the relationships that often develop between the “daddies” and the “babies” who meet on the site — relationships that can turn out to be more complicated than even the members themselves expect. Men may use money as a way to buy themselves out of the normal obligations of romance, like accommodating a woman’s emotional needs as much as their own. But despite the power and security that the money buys, it can also undercut the very ego it’s intended to boost.

Consider B. K., a fit finance executive in his early 40s, who, last October, began “dating” a 20-year-old engineering major at a college 90 minutes from his house. Like nearly half the sugar daddies on Seeking Arrangement, B. K. is married. (Neither B. K. nor any other user of the site would allow full names to be published — certain the revelation would infuriate wives or boyfriends, shock colleagues and repel friends or family — and agreed to use only their first names, nicknames or initials.) B. K. and his wife opted against separation, for the sake of the kids, and for now, they have a policy — at least in his mind — of don’t ask, don’t tell. Between pangs of guilt about cheating, B. K. views his secret dallying as a safety valve, letting him feel desired so he can return home and appreciate the many things he loves about his wife, even if they don’t include giving him the attention he wants.

And so, nearly each week, B. K. gets together with Lola, the young woman he met on the site, for a meal or a gym workout and a few hours at a hotel outside the Western city where he lives. Their visits are generally no longer than four or five hours because Lola, a senior, has a full course load and also works 40 hours a week at two low-wage jobs. With no money from her parents, she was frank in her Seeking Arrangement profile, saying she needed “immediate financial assistance.” In B. K., she gets that in the form of $100 or $150 stuffed in her bag each time they meet. He feels good about helping her with her tuition, encouraging her studies and romancing her, albeit in hotel rooms. Most of all, he’s grateful that she doesn’t want a commitment. At least he was at first.

“It’s very clear with this site that she’s getting something out of this, hopefully emotional support and mentoring advice and fun in bed, but also something financial, so don’t come back to me and say that you were used or that I left you high and dry,” he said. “I like that aspect of it, but on the other hand, it would be nice not to have the money involved, because you always wonder: would she still want to be with me even without the money? Does the money make me more attractive than I really am?”

ABOUT 30 PERCENT OF ARRANGEMENTS on the site involve the daddy paying an “allowance,” usually a thousand or two a month, though the site claims some reach $10,000. The rest provide the baby with incidental cash, shopping sprees, gifts, travel or the fleeting illusion that theirs is a high-end, easy life. “I get flown to whatever city I want,” wrote a North Carolina college student, who goes by the name gurlnextdoor on the site’s blog, a mix between an online support group and a kaffeeklatsch. “He pays for it, takes me shopping, we talk, laugh, go out to eat and do whatever we want to do for our days together. . . . I don’t bring up mundane problems about my home life, and he does the same. . . . If I wanted someone to talk to about my life problems, I’d get a boyfriend or a therapist.”

Like B. K.’s companion, Lola, many women on the site are in their 20s, though plenty of others are in their 30s, 40s and 50s. Some are looking for attention, some have financial problems and some are seeking refuge from romantic pain. On the blog and in conversations with me, still others said benefactors provide a way to get the extras they want — the Fendi bags, the to-die-for shoe collection or the breast enhancement. A surprising number of babies say on the blog that they don’t need the money at all, either because they have decent-paying jobs or bottomless credit cards from their parents. What appeals to them about the arrangements are the expensive gifts — “I just LOVE being spoiled,” gushed one 19-year-old woman on the blog — because those gifts make them feel valued, as if the money spent measures just how desirable they are.

Other women on the site would happily forfeit conspicuous prizes and go for the cash instead, especially for tuition. One woman’s profile says, “That you can help me get through school and achieve financial stability through support and mentoring is more important than wowing me with diamonds and Prada.” In fact, Seeking Arrangement pays to have its ads pop up on search engines whenever someone types in “student loan,” “tuition help,” “college support” or “help with rent.” Lola was one of many to stumble on the site that way, when — behind on her rent and tuition and down to one meal a day — she Googled “student loan.” What popped up was hardly what she expected, but she was willing to try almost anything to stay in school.

Her first sugar daddy, a man in his early 50s, turned out to be a terrible kisser and too dominating in bed. “I had to grit my teeth every time we met,” she told me. In four visits, she earned $550, enough to cover the rent, and then dropped him. A month later, she connected with another sugar daddy, a man in his late 50s who lived in Louisiana. The only thing he wanted, he told her, was that she do well in school. He insisted she send her transcript, and once satisfied, he sent her nearly $500 a month. Though they never met, never even talked on the phone, he wrote her long letters by hand encouraging her studies and advising her on finances and sent her novels, newspaper clippings and a J. K. Rowling commencement address for inspiration. He never once mentioned sex.

Six months later, the man in Louisiana had to cut back on expenses, so Lola began looking for a new source of income to supplement the $8 an hour she earned working in a lab and the cash she picked up cleaning houses and selling her plasma. Last October, Lola and B. K. had their first date.

Though petite, Lola seems older than she is, maybe because she is so matter-of-fact in her manner. On the day I met her, on her way to meet B. K., she was wearing jeans, a striped T-shirt and no makeup. Her hair was pulled back, no-nonsense style, making her look more as if she were about to go camping than rendezvous with her sugar daddy. She brought along a textbook and her GRE vocabulary flashcards, in case B. K. was late.

“At first, it was a job, then it became a pleasant job and then it was getting together with a friend,” she said, describing her relationship with B. K. “With him, I don’t feel like a prostitute, though maybe I am. It’s not just the sex with us. We care about each other, we talk, there’s a connection, not just business.”

Whether sugar relationships amount to prostitution is hotly debated among the site’s members. “Let’s get real here,” wrote GoldenGate on the blog. “I’m with a guy who’s old enough to be my dad, short and balding. Not to mention his other shortcomings, ahem. But he gives me a great big fat allowance every month. If that wasn’t there, we wouldn’t be together.”

Others on the blog were shocked, saying they could never be with a man, even a rich one, if they weren’t somehow attracted to him. Indeed, most go to considerable effort to distinguish between “sugar” and prostitution. (Legally, at least, they are right; since the 1970s, courts have ruled that as long as the woman is paid for some service besides sex — housecleaning, companionship — the arrangement is not the equivalent of prostitution.) They say being a sugar baby is no more an occupation than dating is, especially when the goal of dating is to find a rich boyfriend or a wealthy husband. They routinely turn down creeps interested in nothing but sex.

Some sugar babies also insist that wives who stay in miserable marriages for an American Express black card, mansion or country-club membership are more like prostitutes than they are. And yet the blatant financial transactions leave many uneasy. Even Seeking Arrangement’s chief executive uses a fake name — his legal one is Brandon Wey — partly because he’s afraid his association with the site might dampen his chances of raising capital for a more mainstream enterprise in the future and partly because he thought the name Brandon Wade sounded more Hugh Hefneresque.

In interviews and on the blog, the site’s members parse the nuances of the sex and money transactions. “I read on a post about asking 10k if you’re model material . . . so because I ask for so little, am I ‘on sale’?” wrote one woman. “I don’t think I can accept more than 1k a month plus gifts, because then I will start feeling compelled to do ANYTHING for him.”

E. C., a 23-year-old sales-and-marketing coordinator in Toronto, says she already earns $40,000 a year as well as commission and the use of a company car. But having grown up in a wealthy family, her current salary doesn’t allow her to live in the manner to which she’s accustomed. So E. C. dined with a banker from the site who was charming and attractive. His breath, however, was so bad she decided he wasn’t sugar-daddy material.

Then she met a charming 43-year-old businessman from the site with nice breath. She tried to steer their conversations to the question of an allowance, unsuccessfully. On their third date, they slept together. Afterward, she was glad no money had changed hands. “If he’d given me money after that, I would have felt he was paying me for the sex,” she said. “And if he’d paid me beforehand, I would have felt I owed him something, and the whole thing would have gone from charming to being bought.” Instead of paying her, he takes her to swank restaurants and penthouse suites in Niagara Falls. “He shows me off to the whole place, and it makes me feel good.”

Her parents, she added, would be appalled if they knew she was on such a site — except if they thought it increased her chance of meeting an eligible and rich young doctor.

MOST PEOPLE WOULD LIKELY BE appalled to learn that a daughter — or father — was using Seeking Arrangement. Beth Bailey, a Temple University historian of courtship, said that her first reaction to the site was “revulsion.” But when she reconsidered it within the historical context of dating, she had a somewhat different response.

Heterosexual relationships, including marriage, have long involved economic transactions, but Bailey points out that when men provided financial security, they traditionally did so in exchange for a woman’s sexual virtue (and potential to bear and rear children), not for sexual thrills. For that, they often turned to prostitutes and mistresses, involving a more frank money-for-sex exchange. It’s only in the last century that money has been traded — albeit indirectly — for sexual attention from “respectable” unmarried women. In the early 1900s, courtship shifted from girls’ porches or parlors to a commercial venture: a date. Etiquette manuals of the time were explicit — boys were to pay for meals, entertainment and transportation, and in return, girls were to provide well-groomed company, rapt attention and at least a certain amount of physical affection. His money bought not only companionship but also her indebtedness.

“It made a lot of people uneasy, because if men’s money was central to the dating relationship, what distinguished it from prostitution?” Bailey says. Seen in this context, Bailey argues, Seeking Arrangement “is a piece of contemporary society. It’s simply more explicit and transparent about the bargains struck in the traditional model of dating.”

Though one-quarter of the site’s sugar daddies (including married ones) are looking for male “babies” and 1 percent of the site’s members are “sugar mommies,” they still tend to fall into traditional roles, where the one who is paid supplies sex, admiration, comfort and the kind of status conferred by any other expensive consumer good. The “baby” is the one who regulates her appearance, schedule, behavior and emotions to make the payer feel special.

Still, a 22-year-old named Mercedes told me, “I don’t see how people can view this as exploitation.” Mercedes is a junior who pays her own tuition at a Georgia university. She has had six sugar daddies in the past year to supplement her wages busing tables and washing dishes at a bar. “I could go out and work three jobs and still go to school and probably make decent grades, but is that really what I want to do? I make more money this way, and I have a lot more fun because I get to go out to concerts, go shopping, see movies and make money off of it. If instead of this I was just dating a rich man, it’d be almost the same thing, and society wouldn’t look down on that. You know with a sugar daddy that they’re spending a lot of money on you and they clearly want something in return, but is that really any different than how it is with a boyfriend?”

BRANDON WEY GOT THE IDEA for the site from his own dissatisfying love life as an M.I.T. student and then as a well-off but awkward tech executive. Traditional dating Web sites were no help. “It was difficult to advertise the assets I had compared to hundreds of thousands of guys who had better looks or better pickup lines,” says Wey, now married to a woman 13 years younger than he is, whom he met before the site went live. “I needed to find a way to put myself at the front of the line.”

Wey unveiled Seeking Arrangement in 2006 and aimed to keep the site well stocked for his wealthy customers. Babies can join free, while daddies pay $44.95 a month — and an optional $5 to ensure the site’s name doesn’t show up on credit-card statements. For another $1,200 a year, a sugar daddy can become a Diamond Club member, with his income and net worth verified and his profile featured at the top of the home page.

B. K. joined the site about a year ago, swapping flirtatious e-mail messages with potential sugar babies, taking a few out to dinner and romancing one for a few months before he found Lola. He was drawn, he said, to her independence and intellect, her humility, her academic determination and, of course, her looks. He loved their time together — dancing, snuggling, the whole bit — and, at times, feared he was falling in love.

From the start, Lola was clear that her heart lay elsewhere. Her boyfriend of four years lives 1,000 miles away, and though they see each other only a few times a year, Lola maintains that she is deeply in love with him. When B. K. asked Lola what gift she wanted for Christmas, she demurred, but when pressed, she asked if he would pay for plane fare to visit her boyfriend. B. K. said yes — and felt great about it. “Isn’t that what love is?” he told me later. “It’s not about trying to own someone.”

While Lola was gone, B. K. sent her e-mail and text messages virtually every day but heard nothing back. Pining, he began trolling the site, window shopping, and noticed Lola had logged on. He feared that she was looking to replace him. “I was like, What the hell is this?” He e-mailed her, asking why she was on the site, but got no answer. “Maybe I’m the needy one,” he mused. He wondered if Lola was trying to end their relationship or if her boyfriend had found out. “The no-strings-attached assumption is hard on my heart sometimes, but I don’t think she will just disappear.”

RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN RICH men and kept women have been around for a very long time, of course, but the Internet makes hunting for such arrangements easier. Quickly and privately, a well-off man can find a young woman wherever in the world he wants. And he can find someone who fits his needs, however unconventional they may be.

One sugar daddy whose screen name is Sam has tried long-term girlfriends, mistresses, prostitutes and a brief marriage. Now single, the 39-year-old entrepreneur has found the arrangement that suits him best: a monogamous business-associate-with-benefits deal in which he pursues an entrepreneurial project with a young, beautiful, intelligent woman. He provides financial backing, mentoring and networking; she provides sex, fun and, inevitably, a bit of worshiping, all of which make him feel virile and influential. In between vacations using his private jet, both work hard on the project. They don’t tend to see each other much, as he travels frequently for his work.

Sam’s profile on Seeking Arrangement is audacious. He advertises for a woman who is “drop-dead beautiful, sexy, fun and elegantly mannered in a fancy setting. She must turn heads . . . and make me the envy of the crowd.” He wants no tattoos, no cosmetic implants, no vegetarians and no Gen Yers who begin their e-mail-message sentences with lowercase letters.

When I asked to chat in person, Sam suggested meeting at CORE, a private Manhattan club where membership is by invitation only and costs $65,000 the first year and where Sam’s assent was required before I could be admitted. Sitting alone at a long conference table in a room set aside for him, he looked utterly unremarkable, a man of average height with a buzz cut and an aloof air. But once Sam got talking, he became affable and witty, especially as he described his unorthodox history with women. He started college when most kids his age were still in middle school. “When you go to college at that age, you’re pretty undatable,” he said. “I was somewhere between a curiosity, a mascot and a friend. I tutored freshman physics and calculus so I could at least be near women. Of course, all they’d do is talk about their boyfriends.”

He has an almost mathematical approach to assessing relationships, and once even computed the costs for a girlfriend, mistress, prostitute and wife — mistresses turn out to be most expensive by the hour; wives, by the year; girlfriends are cheapest all around. But he’s not as calculating as he seems. In fact, he concluded there’s little correlation between cost and quality. Still, he is relentlessly searching for an algorithm that will predict relationships’ success.

Sam is also more determined than most to try separating a sugarbaby’s affection and the money she’s paid to provide it. In his arrangements, he says, he establishes a trust in the woman’s name that pays a monthly stipend of at least $5,000 for the length of their contract. If the woman decides to quit sleeping with him at any point, he may quit serving as adviser and pamperer, but the stipend continues regardless. “If I didn’t do that, then it’s like a leash I’m putting on somebody, and that seems really unfair,” he said. “Besides, then I’d never know what the relationship was really about.”

Sam runs these relationships with an explicit business plan, a set budget, measurable goals and quarterly reviews. From the outset, the contract has an end date. It’s a brilliant, if contrived, way to protect his pride. The contract specifies that the romance and sex are to end by the preset date, so there’s no break up, no rejection, no bruised ego. She’s not dumping him; the gig’s just over.

He was involved in three relationships this way, helping the women establish a school overseas, start a tech company and help run a nonprofit, he told me. He declined to put me in touch with the women but said each had been successful. He is like Pygmalion, smitten with his own creations.

He found those three women through word of mouth, long before he discovered Seeking Arrangement and its rush of possibilities. Between November and shortly after I met him in mid-January, he had winnowed down 140 candidates to four finalists. “It feels so good to have so many people paying attention to me,” he said. He met all four, interviewed them extensively, coached them on their business plans and took two of them on multiday outings. In each case, he told them he preferred to put off sex until he’d settled on a candidate, though he did end up sleeping with one of them — but only, he says, because she so aggressively pursued him.

NOR ARE MEN THE ONLY ONES seeking relationships within particular parameters. A. B. was 18 when she first went on the site, in 2006, looking for extra money. She had started college at 15 but quit when her money ran out. She was soon contacted by a well-to-do, married filmmaker whom she liked immediately. He encouraged her ambition to become a professor of art or philosophy. For a few months, they saw each other frequently, visiting museums, discussing Camus and Nietzsche, taking in films, sharing their poetry and artwork and sometimes romping in bed. He gave her $500 each time they met, whether or not they had sex. In between visits, he sent her money for art supplies. He said if she got a part-time job, he’d pay the tuition and living expenses she couldn’t cover.

Ecstatic, A. B. re-enrolled at her Southern college. Her sugardaddy flew her up to Pennsylvania to meet him a few times. But he became increasingly peeved that she also had a boyfriend at school. And though her boyfriend understood why she was in a relationship with a sugar daddy, A. B. felt compromised, as if she were leading two lives. She ended that Seeking Arrangement relationship.

About two years later, A. B. met another sugar daddy from the site, a single father who seemed pleasant enough but unlikely to entangle her emotions. Still, after a few visits, he wanted nothing but sex, so she stopped seeing him.
“When these sugar-daddy relationships go the way I think they should go, the lines are pretty blurry between that and a typical boyfriend-girlfriend relationship,” she said. “And when they go the way I don’t think they should go, the lines are blurry between that and sex work.”

In February, A. B. met a third benefactor. This one was a pleasant and clever psychologist in his 40s. He flew her to San Francisco. They went to jazz clubs and a tony restaurant, talked about philosophy and shared a bed but stayed on their own sides all night. But the next night, after they’d both been drinking, he pressured her into forgoing a condom during sex. “I yielded because I thought that if he came away from the weekend having enjoyed himself, he would be more likely to want to see me again and want to support me,” she said. The experience soured her on flagrantly transactional relationships, because she realized the power dynamic would always be lopsided. She is done being a sugar baby, A. B. said, even if it means delaying her education even longer.

AT TIMES, B. K. DEBATED WHETHER to turn off his Seeking Arrangement profile to honor his relationship with Lola. But whenever communication from her would go dark for a few days, he was glad that his profile was still active. The e-mail messages he got from women were an ego balm. After all, it’s not often a man in his 40s is wooed by a former surfer in her 20s or a 26-year-old model looking for the “finer things in life.”

During the two weeks over Christmas that Lola was incommunicado and B. K. worried that he’d just been dumped, he received a suggestive note from a woman close to his age from another state. She sent him long enticing messages, which boosted his morale. Unlike Lola, she was mercurial and dramatic, and he was drawn by her damsel-in-distress air. He loved feeling like her savior. Neither Lola nor his wife seemed to need saving, just help with tuition (in Lola’s case) or with kids and chores (in his wife’s case).

Everything about the woman seemed enticingly dangerous, and B. K. became obsessed with her and told me their interactions were like the “thrill” of running through a burning building and making it out alive. And then it imploded: a combination of hotheadedness, different politics and her resentment that he wouldn’t pony up a regular allowance.

By then, Lola was back at school. She said she’d been out of touch during her visit with her boyfriend because her cellphone battery died. She told B. K. she hadn’t bought a charger because she was out of money, even using Target gift cards she received at Christmas to pay for groceries. She reassured him that she wanted to keep seeing him but also reminded him that she had several looming deadlines at school and at the lab where she worked. Delighted that she was still in his life, B. K. turned off his Seeking Arrangement profile. But with Lola’s packed schedule, their visits dwindled to every other week. It took days for her to respond to his e-mail messages. Even a text message he sent asking “Are you O.K.?” went unanswered for days.

Eventually, she e-mailed him in her typically even-tempered way: “I am all right. When I don’t respond it means I don’t have time at the moment and then I forget because I’m running from one place to the next.”

Restless, B. K. switched his profile on. He got a Seeking Arrangement message from a graduate student in her mid-20s who lived just 10 miles from his office. They met for a quick coffee, long enough for the woman to grab B. K.’s hand and put it on her ripped abs, just to show him what she was made of. He was thrilled by her aggressiveness. Afterward, when he suggested by e-mail that he could pay her $1,500 a month, she objected that she was worth much more. He decided to play it cool and wait for her to come begging.

And then in the midst of all that, he got a message from Lola that she could meet him the following Sunday afternoon, after a study session. Upon getting her note, his message to me was effusive: “YAY!!! I’m almost giddy like a schoolboy!!”
When they finally met in late February, B. K. asked Lola more about her boyfriend than he ever had before. Lola told him she loved her boyfriend and that she hoped he would propose after she graduates later this year. Once engaged, she added, she would stop being a sugar baby. B. K. felt devastated.

Lola seemed particularly tender in that meeting, he told me. Moved by his deep affection for her, B. K. offered her an extra $200 to see her boyfriend over spring break. Afterward, he was scared he would soon lose her and also scared at how much his feelings for her had intensified. If she asked him to leave his wife, he told me, he would seriously consider it.

In the days after their meeting, B. K.’s moods shifted rapidly; he was dreamy one minute, testy or melancholy the next. Then, after weeks of silence, the graduate student with the taut abs e-mailed him, and they agreed to meet at a local bar. “I may be a fool for love, but I’m also practical,” he said before going to meet her, adding that, then again, “maybe I am just a big wallet, and I’m getting played on all sides.”

On a weekday evening, B. K. sat in a back booth, waiting for his new potential sugar baby. She showed up in a tight, low-cut blouse and scooted up next to him, he told me, purring that it had all been a misunderstanding and that $1,500 a month would be just fine. To his delight, she said none of the other men on Seeking Arrangement had impressed her the way he had. B. K. explained that his current sugar baby might soon get engaged and disappear from the scene. At that point, he assured her, he would want to pursue things. She snuggled in closer and told him that she would wait. And then she started kissing and nibbling on his ear.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Sugar Daddy & Sugar Baby Benefits


There are many benefits of a sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship. It is a relationship where both people find what they need in a relationship with no strings attached and there is no real commitment other than the agreement to keep each other's names silent. These types of relationships are hidden most of the time, for many reasons.

Sugar Daddy Benefits
 
The sugar daddy has the benefit of lavishing money on a woman who certainly enjoys it and appreciates it. Most of the time he simply hands her cash to spend anyway she chooses or he pays some bills for her. Gifts big and small are accepted with a comfortable hug or sex, which he may be missing at home.

He also gets to have sex when he feels the need, with a woman who is not his girlfriend or wife. For men who enjoy a high sex drive and has a big wallet, this type of relationship is just what he needs.Sugar Daddies get the best of both worlds and feel as if he is king of the world.

Bill, a forty something professional married man says that his baby always appreciates his gifts, while his wife sometimes complains it is the wrong size or color. According to him, the baby never says no to sex, where his wife often does.

Sugar Baby Benefits
 
The sugar baby gets to have extra money to spend on things she wants but cannot afford. She also gets lavish presents just because he feels like doing something nice. Many sugar babies are single moms who maybe struggling to pay household bills and having a man with no commitment to help her out is like having a second income. Some babies are single girls who are going back to school and need help with tuition or other bills.

She also gets the sex when she wants it or an occasional outing but she does not have to deal with a man all the time. The rest of her time, she can be focused on her own needs or the needs of her family. The babies get the extra cash they need and it allows her more freedom.

While I have never been in a sugar daddy and sugar baby type relationship I can see the benefits of both sides. Perhaps I am just a prude, but I could never see myself in that type of situation. What about you, can you see yourself in a relationship such as this?

Monday, August 5, 2013

This Guide To Netting A Sugar Daddy Makes Us Feel Complicated Feelings

NYMag.com’s fashion offshoot breaks great stories, writes hilarious pop-culture studies, and points out all manner of style-related factoids on the reg. Which is why we love it so much and read it so happily. And it's also why we were particularly confused when we read a piece by Ariel Black (a pseudonym) on "How to Find Your Own Sugar Daddy (Like I Did),"on there.

Black tells a story many New York women are familiar with — the difficulty of making ends meet while balancing a robust New York existence. When faced with insurmountable costs (and some pretty heartbreaking vet bills), Black decided to get herself a "sugar daddy," which, with the help of the Internet, is a pretty easy thing to do. Here, she describes her hunt for, and subsequent settling upon, then moving in with, a sugar daddy.

Now, let's be clear: When two consenting adults agree to a specific relationship, it's (for the most part) their business. Black makes it clear she is getting paid to have sex with the man in question, when she writes, "On our fifth date, he offered me $2,500 a month so I could relax with my dog. That night, Eli got lucky, too." There is a clear commodification of sex going on, a fact that Black — to her credit — doesn't conceal. There isn't much to be said if she wants to give her sugar daddy "what money is worthless without: friendship and fun. Plus great sex." She’s an adult, and these are her choices.

And yet, what is complicated here is that she is communicating her particular experience in a prescriptive fashion: Here is how I got myself taken care of, and here is how you can do it, too. "The job description of a sugar baby, as we’re called, is to be fun, happy, busy, sexy, and mysterious. Other feelings freak sugar daddies out — so if you aren’t happy or busy enough, embellish!" She explains. Basically, the job is to be as simple and unchallenging as possible. And this, dear readers, is really what makes us feel rather itchy: The reinforcement of the notion that women can be bought and sold and are a sexual commodity is being obscured under the guise of "empowerment." Sure, Black reportedly has the reins, but to what extent? "If I don’t properly tend his every need, a tantrum erupts: 'You ate all the Häagen-Dazs? You’re just using me! It’s over!'” she writes, or "Ask him to spring for a personal trainer and regular spa days so you can look your best for him. Wait until he’s in a good mood to shoot him a sext with a link to those Jimmy Choos (' … and I’d wear only these')." Here is a woman, a person, who is essentially saying that she needs to be taken care of by a man. And even worse; she acknowledges that and goes to pretty great lengths to ensure to.

When we first heard about the Mrs. Degree conversation, we felt a similar pang: How is this still going on, in 2013? In the case here, we get that people (of any gender) can easily find themselves in a relationship that can be uneven. But that isn't glamorous. It isn't just, as Black writes, "fantastic meals, exotic vacations, a fierce wardrobe, and even rent money." Black remarks that this way of living isn't meant to last when she writes, "...Being a sugar baby isn’t a sustainable lifestyle. It’s an adventure." Yet, an adventure is supposed to be inspiring, invigorating, and mentally stimulating. But this just feels like a major step backward. (The Cut)

We know stories on the Internet often sign off like this, but in this case, we really would appreciate you weighing in, more than ever: Are we being overly sensitive about one woman's choice to lead her life a particular way? Or does this reek of misogyny and financial slavery? Let us know.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

How to Find Your Own Sugar Daddy (Like I Did)

It all started two years ago when my bulldog, Hemingway, got sick. After the $500 I’d dropped at the vet, I couldn’t even afford a cab home. And all the freelance work I could find wouldn’t come close to footing the impending bills. Huddled at the bus stop, Hemingway drooling on my knee, I Googled: “How to find a sugar daddy.”

But I’d always been curious. I imagined my life with a sugar daddy to look like a mash-up between an old black-and-white movie and a rap video — with ample time left over to write the Next Great American Something. There would be shopping in Milan, swimming in the Maldives, and gambling in Monaco. In other words, a fantasy complete with five-star pet care.
I created accounts on several websites. Every week or two, I would meet another potential sugar daddy. Six months and as many unpaid vet bills later, I found a nerdy-cute i-banker in his late thirties; Eli immediately took care of my debt and transferred Hemingway to the city’s best vet. Still, I took it slow. On our fifth date, he offered me $2,500 a month so I could relax with my dog. That night, Eli got lucky, too.

Two months later, I had to put Hemingway down. In my depression, I buried myself in Eli’s bed, welcoming the high-thread-count comfort of his luxury loft. He soon convinced me to move in. This was how I inadvertently let him into the “boyfriend zone.” In turn, I got to shop more, join his fancy gym, and eat at fabulous restaurants nightly. Tropical vacations and designer lingerie are decadent, but the habitual treats — like organic groceries, a cleaning lady, and pedicures — are what had me hooked.

Eyebrows may raise, but I see no moral issue here. In fact, if there’s anything unbalanced about this equation, it’s in his favor. I give Eli what money is worthless without: friendship and fun. Plus great sex. That, by the way, is the easy part. It’s the emotional labor that’s challenging: I do all the grown-up relationship work, from planning our dates to downright mothering. If I don’t properly tend his every need, a tantrum erupts: “You ate all the Häagen-Dazs? You’re just using me! It’s over!” Ultimately, being paid to put up with these pathological antics is toxic.

I know I have to quit — but I dread the thought of reverting back to a bodega-based diet or, God forbid, drugstore makeup. Despite these fallbacks, many of my girlfriends — from the bossy professional to those of DIY anarchist persuasion — still ask for pointers on acquiring their own sugar daddy. Here’s what I tell them.

1. Be Persistent on the Hunt.
You’ll have to sweet talk an army of frogs before you meet one you could imagine having sex with. I met Eli on Sugarbabymeet.com, the most popular and direct sugar-dating service. With WhatsYourPrice.com, guys bid for first dates; pocketing a couple Franklins for showing up never sucks. For a less seedy option, try searching OKCupid by salary. Determine your boundaries (I wasn’t comfortable meeting men that were married or over 50, for example), then snap a few suggestive selfies. If your photos are too trashy, you’ll be treated like a prostitute.

When you find a potential match, pick a swank restaurant so you know he really has money. Your worst-case scenario now includes an epic meal. Ask lots of questions. Some guys expect further ego stroking, but I played the smart-but-free-spirited angle instead: more Holly Golightly than Holly Madison. “I just want to see the world and tell meaningful stories,” I’d say wistfully. “Where do you want to travel first?” they’d respond on cue. Know your approach and stay consistent.

2. Know Your Roles … and Play With Others on the Side.
These guys are good at making money, not having a girlfriend. So take advantage of that and just enjoy the exciting experiences (he’s paying for) together — be it on Broadway or in Bali. Unlike I did, avoid domesticity and limit dates to two or three nights a week. Not only is this more manageable, but your unavailability keeps him interested.

The job description of a sugar baby, as we’re called, is to be fun, happy, busy, sexy, and mysterious. Other feelings freak sugar daddies out — so if you aren’t happy or busy enough, embellish! Text him photos of stylish parties stolen from Instagram while you watch Girls and eat rice pudding alone, on your period. Keep your emotional needs in check via friends and lovers (but don’t mention these “support networks” to your sugar daddy, especially when monogamy is assumed).

3. Get the Bang for Your Buck (He Is).
Ask him to spring for a personal trainer and regular spa days so you can look your best for him. Wait until he’s in a good mood to shoot him a sext with a link to those Jimmy Choos (“ … and I’d wear only these”). Before any trip or party, explain that you don’t own a stitch of appropriate clothing (“but this is a Michelin-starred tapas restaurant!”). Shopping may not be your sugar daddy’s idea of a romantic date, so aim to engrave his plastic with your name.

The appeal of sugar daddies is obvious: fantastic meals, exotic vacations, a fierce wardrobe, and even rent money. But being sugar babies aren’t a sustainable lifestyle. It’s an adventure. And as Hemingway — the novelist — once said, “it is the journey that matters, in the end.”